


here's the thing

by boogergyu (rnadison)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, author is in her feelings, just verkwan being in love ... u know the drill, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22767250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rnadison/pseuds/boogergyu
Summary: here's the thing -- vernon is not good with words.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 6
Kudos: 142





	here's the thing

here’s the thing -- vernon is not good with words.

it feels like all the thoughts in his head get lost on the way to his throat. the ones that do make it feel bunched up, tangled in his vocal chords. his friends like to say he’s off in his own little world, and honestly most of the time, he is. there’s a lot of times when he has an opportunity to make some idle comment about such-and-such, but the way he sees it, keeping quiet is just safer. words could betray you, if you used the wrong ones; and they could mean less, if you used too many. 

but seungkwan? god. 

seungkwan could fill textbooks with all the words he says in a day, a week, a year. vernon can’t imagine a life without seungkwan’s happy chatter in the morning, his emoticon-filled texts in the afternoon, and his sleepy mumbles at night. he’s a song that’s not quite formed yet, one that has wandering melodies on the bridges but always came back to a solid chorus. 

so to make up for all his lost words, vernon has learned to love him another way. 

he loves listening to seungkwan. 

he loves waking up and hearing seungkwan humming to himself as he brushes his teeth, followed by the uncapping and recapping of the various creams that are involved in his ten step skincare routine. and even though vernon is still half-asleep, admiring him in the dim early morning light with what’s probably a stupid smile on his face, it occurs to him that he’s never seen a more sensual and erotic sight in his life than boo seungkwan wearing his shirt with his bangs held back by a my melody clip. 

he loves to listen to him mumble a drama ost to himself while he waits for his turn at the microwave; he loves to hear him belt out twice songs while he’s vacuuming. he even loves the tut of disgust seungkwan gives whenever he sees him in one of his more unfortunate tie-dye ensembles, before ushering him back into his room to find something more suitable to wear. 

even more, he loves to hear seungkwan sing. vernon doesn’t think he’ll ever get over the chills that erupt on his arms when he watches seungkwan’s sessions in the soundbooth: the way every part of his face emotes the words he sings, the way his head moves when he hits a high note. then jihoon stops the music and seungkwan clears his throat and asks how it was, and the spell is broken, just like that. 

he loves listening to seungkwan practice his english, clicking through youtube videos and repeating the new vocabulary words out loud. he loves the random words and phrases seungkwan blurts out in other conversations, proud to know them and proud to remember them, beaming at vernon like he just won the lottery. and maybe he shouldn’t love this, but vernon especially loves the frustrated sigh seungkwan gives when he mixes up r’s and l’s, the way he’d switch back to korean just to complain with that talented tongue of his.

but for all seungkwan’s words, vernon listens to what he doesn’t say, too. 

sometimes, when seungkwan weighs himself in the morning, there’s a sigh, maybe out of relief, maybe out of frustration. but sometimes there’s nothing at all, and that means a weight gain that seungkwan doesn’t like. vernon had never had a problem with seungkwan’s weight, and neither had the other members or even the company. it was purely self-imposed, and of course they supported him, but that didn’t mean seungkwan always supported himself. vernon can see sometimes the way seungkwan grips the hem of his shirt when they're changing outfits at variety or music shows, glancing warily around to make sure nobody is looking at him. there’s not much vernon can do at times like this, except to gently touch seungkwan’s arm and try to pull him out of his own head. sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. seungkwan was never so predictable. 

he loves when seungkwan lays on his chest, absorbed in something on his phone, enjoying a rare break from schedule. he loves when they’re sitting in the living room with the other members, and seungkwan leans up against him, letting seokmin or soonyoung hijack the conversation for the night instead. whenever seungkwan does this, vernon knows it’s because he’s tired or stressed, and just needs a quick recharge from something that isn’t caffeine. and while everyone is focused on whatever antics seokmin and soonyoung are up to, vernon will murmur their own inside jokes with a smile, and seungkwan’s body will shake against his with his soft giggles. 

he loves the deep sighs seungkwan gives out late at night that always come whenever vernon nips at the sensitive skin on his neck. seungkwan tastes as sweet as he looks, and gives vernon a high greater than any sugar rush. sometimes these sighs build into tiny whimpers, then bigger whimpers, as vernon's hands move down the gentle slopes of his body. like in all other areas of his life, seungkwan is loud in more ways than one. 

but there are times where the silence is deafening, and that’s the worst. 

just because vernon isn’t good with words doesn’t mean he likes silence. after long days where his words keep failing him, when raps take too long to write and he can’t wrap his brain around the rhymes he’s trying to make in two languages -- sometimes more -- he shuts himself in his room and buries himself under the covers. creating anything is never easy, he knows, but it just seems so easy to forget. 

on days like these, he’ll hear the door gently open and close, followed by a squeak from his bedsprings. and even though vernon won’t come out of the covers anytime soon, seungkwan is his still his favorite distraction, so he listens quietly as seungkwan starts some story or other about one of his sisters, or his mother, or something that happened predebut that vernon thought he’d forgotten about by now. more often than not, vernon would always let seungkwan under the covers with him, a silent olive branch. it’s not so much what seungkwan says that relaxes him; seungkwan could read a dictionary and vernon would still be enamored. no, in the midst of seungkwan’s seemingly aimless prattle is a promise, one people their age don’t usually make. 

sometimes vernon isn’t sure if seungkwan knows that he loves him. sure, he can feel the pure affection radiating from seungkwan, hear the murmur of words against his skin when they were on the edge of falling asleep. from the outside, it could seem vernon was dancing around it, scared to admit it, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. vernon’s loudest act of love is simply letting seungkwan in --- letting him penetrate the soundproof walls he had unknowingly created. everything vernon doesn’t say, he lets seungkwan know through gentle taps on the moles that litter his arms, through soft kisses in early morning light. 

vernon is not good with words. but he is good at loving seungkwan’s, and he supposes that that is all that really matters in the end. 


End file.
